The expert says:
by Andrea_Grace
last updated
08/11/08
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A bedtime routine is a series of familiar steps leading up to bed time. Each of these little steps tells your baby that sleep is coming. If your routine is consistent, each step of it will become a like a mini sleep trigger and this is just want you want – a baby who is sleepy at bedtime.
The great thing about a bedtime routine is that it will also help your baby to feel safe and secure. The reason for this is that babies love things to be familiar and predictable.
The perfect routine
- Begin your routine shortly before you know your baby is ready for sleep
- You should start up to an hour before the bedtime feed is due
- Don't necessarily expect a baby of just a few weeks old to be ready for bed at 7pm – your routine may have to start later in the evening. It's pointless starting a bedtime routine at 6pm if your baby doesn't go to sleep until 9pm
- Take everything that you need for the night with you, to avoid having to come back into the living area
- Follow a similar bed time 'script' by using familiar phrases and actions at key points during the routine
- Bath your baby every night unless there are genuine reasons why you can't – and sing the same 'action' song in the bath each night
- Go directly to your baby's sleep room after the bath
- Clean nappy
- Milk feed
- Goodnight song or story
- Into the cot awake but sleepy, to settle for the night
Your baby's bedtime routine should be a lovely experience for both of you. Even though it is the end of the day, and you are both tired – try to make your bedtime routine a special time. It is important that before settling to sleep for the night, your baby feels loved by you.
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I have been taking care of my grandson since he was 3mo. old, and I feel I have done very well as far as his napping goes, but my daughter thinks he should only have one nap a day, he takes a nap in the morning 9:45am until maybe 11:30am , it depends. I have been playing Baby Beethoven since he was born and he loves it, now he likes Josh Groban which is just beautiful , he also reminds me to play his music by telling me in his baby talk ( goban ) which I play evey day for him ( twice a day ) morning nap still and his afternoon nap also, I do not force him in any way, he also kinda reminds me of his nap
by the motion he makes. Do you think he is having too many naps ? My daughter said her Doctor said he shoud be only have 1 nap, I disagree, he also goes to bed at home around 8pm.with no problems . He is a wonderful baby and very active during the day and very smart . Please tell me if I am doing the right thing. We as grandparent's also need a break.
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Be careful with the bathing- it can wake some kids up. My brother was bathed in the mornings when he was a baby, because he found it very stimulating, my mother had trouble getting him to sleep after an exciting bath. If this is the case, try massage instead, or a gentle sing song?
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And dont' feel bad if you can't get a bedtime routine - I was issued one with my first child, but my second didn't understand 'routine' - and now, 13 years later, still doesn't. I strived and strived for the easy routine I got with her older sister and felt dreadful when I couldn't get one working.............. but some babies just don't want a routine and aren't about to get forced into one!
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If you live in a busy household you might find that a new baby will settle better earlier on in a crib or moses basket where they can hear all the reassuring family noises around them.
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During the holidays I have allowed my kids (3 and 2) to do without their afternoon naps which they've had without fail since they,ve been born but they have to be in bed by 7pm which means dinner is by 5.30 pm. I believe my kids need that routine in their lives. It helps keep them and me organised. And its also a good habit to keep up (preparing for the years ahead).
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To me, one of the best things about a bedtime routine is that you can pretty much guarantee having a bit of adult evening time to yourself, and I enjoy being with my children a lot more when I've had a break. It also makes it much easier to use a babysitter as you know that (barring illness or emotional wobbles) they will be in bed by a certain time. My children can handle a bit of flexibility but we all enjoy their bedtime routine as it means a bit of one-to-one time with each child and I'm happy knowing that they've all gone to sleep having had a cuddle, a chat and a story. I'm sure it makes them feel secure.
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Whilst it is important to have some kind of bedtime routine I think it needs to allow for a fair amount of flexibility. Although we follow the same order of events most nights we've never gone so far as to sing exactly the same song, etc. We vary bathtime by playing with different toys, sometimes stay in for a bit longer, etc. Some nights, when its a bit later, we skip the bath altogether and spend a bit longer getting changed and ready for bed. I am certain that this flexibility and these small differences have enabled both us and our baby to be highly adaptable and we never have any difficulty getting her into bed at home or when staying away overnight at grandparents houses and a B&B. I've heard many people with babies share stories about how difficult it was to get their little one to settle because they couldn't control every element of their environment and stick to their own stingent routine.
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